A commenter on my previous post pointed me at the blog Sinns Of Attraction. The author does PUA bootcamps, here is a 10 min segment:



I found it fascinating. The guy is charismatic, and he has some great lessons, like being fun and positive. I love how he even cites Deida at the end as a must-read!

I find it beautiful that the art of picking up women seems so tied to becoming a better man and a better social creature. There is manipulation, but also growth. For example, this post on basic social skills:

Game is useless without BASIC social skills...

My thinking went something like this " If you can't open a group of guys and girls by saying hi and then relating to them without routines, techniques or tactics, you are going to have problems." Why? Because you won't always have routines, you can't always be non reactive, or dominant or anything. The first step to socializing is making people socially comfortable while talking to you. Comfort actually comes before attraction(credit AFC Adam) but it's not the type of rapport based comfort most people in the community assume. Instead it's sociall comfort, I.E the idea that this person will not creep you out, bore you or insult you.

So how do you learn to make people socially comfortable? Basic conversational skills. The very things that certain schools mock as "AFC" are the building blocks to ultimately having great game. Back in the old school ASF days this skill was referred to as "fluff talk". Ultimatley it comes down to a few basic points:

1. Relate to the other people in the conversation. Show how your experiences intertwine with theirs or vice versa...

radven pointed me at this, sounds neat and similar to Deida:

Women are a Great Opportunity for Personal Growth

If there is one thing that triggers men’s limiting beliefs (including shame) even more intensely, it’s being on the receiving end of a woman’s upset.

Any situation in which a man cannot respond consciously, firmly & lovingly, pinpoints profound opportunities for personal evolution.

Men’s disconnection with women, it turns out, is simply a bread crumb trail back to where we’re disconnected from ourselves.
...
You will have a full day of direct experience with incredibly insightful women who will tell you exactly how they experience you and feel being around you...You will receive precise & in-the-moment feedback in AMP. Our courses are small (12 men), and there is more than a 1:1 ratio between expert facilitators/staff & participants.

AMP’s #1 Guarantee: Every man leaves distinctly aware of subtle behaviors that unknowingly kill attraction with women. These ways of being have often been under your radar for years!

Wow! A more than 1:1 staff ratio, and you get a DVD of your sessions. It's expensive ($2300 for 3 days), but sounds awesome. Maybe I'll take it when I get a chance.

Or maybe Shannon will make me take it ASAP:

"The best thing that's come out of AMP for me--my long distance girlfriend, who I'm completely in love with, had been letting me know in various ways that she didn't feel she could show her full range of emotions around me, and after the course, I realized I hadn't wanted her to. Awhile back she asked me "Can I freak out around you?" and I gave some offhanded answer like "You can freak out as long as you're at least 300 miles away.

Inspired by my AMP weekend (especially the Storming the Masculine exercise), I told her my retroactive answer is "Go for it." I let her know I want to see ALL of her. After that, she was able to put herself out to me with a lot of emotion, from her fears and frustrations to intensely loving, caring, and sensual emotions. I responded from a place of strength and appreciation.

A few days ago, she told me she's been able to fully relax and be herself around me for the first time. Now she and I are closer than ever."

That's one of the few major issues in Shannon & my relationship. If the course could help me with that, it would be huge.

Haven't watched them yet, but surely they must be entertaining if they involve David Deida talking.

UPDATE: Damn, it requires a $10/month subscription. Hmmph.

Aha! I think these are the same ones on YouTube.

I could write dozens of pages on the workshop, so I will try to keep this at a high level and hit key points. The simple summary is "After the workshop, my wife & I had much more intensely connective sex than ever had before. I don't think I've ever screamed that loudly in bed." If that sounds attractive, you should look into Deida, if not, I guess you live in a monastery (more about that later).

He's taking a year off from workshops after this, so while I definitely recommend them, you'll have to wait. I know nothing about his CDs or DVDs or books, but they are probably awesome, since he is awesome. Apparently his workshops are very different, depending on the crowd, so I'm curious to see recordings of some other ones.

The workshop was very powerful. There was a lot of insight about how men & women can be happy individually and together, combined with specific exercises to increase sexual intimacy, and to display in the right way so as to attract the kind of partner that you want. Deida has an entire worldview, a rich body of knowledge on the subject. I don't agree with all of it[1], but I certainly think he has unique and powerful insights, and I was very impressed with the depth. The Q&A sections made it clear that his presentations were just little pieces of his theories / knowledge / practices, and that there is an enormous amount of detail behind it. He combined the ability to read / move / entertain the crowd with an incredible facility in one-on-one interactions.

There was a lot about body language. It was...amazing. He took people up on stage and made tiny adjustments which made members of the opposite sex dramatically change their attractiveness ratings. Sure, some of that is just people wanting it to work and respond, but a lot of it was real. I was like, wow, why is this not taught more often?

This richness makes it very hard to summarize. I'll give you just a few moments:

( Long rambling stories about the workshop )

I knew almost nothing about what David Deida would be like, except for a little bit that I read about stages of development that I didn't really agree with for a few reasons. So I came into it a tiny bit skeptical and worried that I wouldn't jive with it, but of course open-minded and ready for anything.

( long description )